Wow, I cant believe its the 21st of October already?!?!?! It has been terribly busy. Ive thought about what all I need to be writing down in this Blog, and then I talk myself out of it. Because I should be doing work, or homework, or laundry , or cleaning, or sleeping or a million other things.

We went to a funeral on Thursday last week. There is not much I want to say about it. It was the most horribly tragic thing I have ever been to. I work for a Hospice program, I'm a nurse and I have been to alot of family funerals. This was atrocious. No mother should have to bury both of her children within 3 years. Both at the age of 25.

We went to Jefferson City MO. this past weekend for a Rodney Carrington stand up show and to the Casino! Rodney was really funny, however I don't think I will ever get used to his crudeness and cursing. I had to go. I went to see Brad Paisley in concert, in August, with the girls so I promised Daniel he could see Rodney. This had been a long hard week, however, we had the tickets for 2 months and I could'nt let Daniel down. He was SOOO excited. I could have let him go up by himself but.......NO! To top it all off, Aiden woke up with a cold and a fever on Friday morning( at 0530) and Camille came home early with a sore knee, that she hurt 6th hour running track. My mom was the planned babysitter 6 weeks ago and I should have called/warned her, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her "oh, by the way, I'm bringing you 2 pitiful (sick and hurt) grand kids". I am thankful because it was my mom babysitting, at least I knew my kids would be WELL taken care of!

It was my first trip ever, to the Casino.....it wasn't all its cracked up to be. Daniel and I each lost 20 dollars....might as well just flushed it down the toilet! It was boring, we did the slot machines, because I know nothing about gambling cards or dice. Apparently you dont have to know anything about slot machines either. All you have to do is hit a button or pull the handle. You win a little and lose more. When youv'e spent your money the machine just quits working. I could have read a book while I sat there. The thing that made it the least enjoyable was all the cigarette smoke! We were there about 1.5 hours and left smelling like we had rolled in an ashtray, we were nauseated and had stuffy noses. Totally not something I could do on a regular basis. There was actually a lady there that was using the bathroom and as she was leaving the custodian said " hi Bertha (fake name) how are you feeling? have a good night and Good luck"!!!! how often must you frequent a casino for the staff to know you by name???? how much money do you have to lose to get there????

DIGRESSION: I thought we would become more restless with Harrison Arkansas the longer we lived here, but it appears the opposite has happened. The more we have traveled locally, the more beautiful and charming we find North Central Arkansas (Harrison). It is lovely. We find that there is a wonderful small town feeling, with all the amenities we need. And its not TOO busy. Although I am not too greatly satisfied with THIS house, I hope that we will be happy with the location for a long time! We only wish we had some couples friends to spend time with. When Daniel was in the Marine Corps, we constantly had cookouts, played cards, went out for dinner, had fun with various couples/families! This last year alone together has brought us closer, and we enjoy each other alot. But now we need more. We have friends close by, within hours, but can only see every so often, on the weekends. I don't want to meet new friends! I want the ones I love dearly, closer to us! When did everything get so complicated? I remember when I was 20, I just moved out of my small hometown, to where my best friend lived, just because I was sick of it. I guess as we get older and families grow and money becomes more important, things get harder! Its very SAD!

Non sequeter: We actually stopped and looked at 2 houses tonight. This is very out of the ordinary for Daniel. He usually cannot see the positive in things enough to dream about things like a house in the near future (2 years). He actually stopped willingly just because I was interested, and seemed interested himself! They are older homes in Harrison, that have been newly renovated. Less than $100,000, can you believe that? He actually sounded hopeful and was trying to picture us in them? Unbelievable!

I have my 4th algebra test on Thursday. I really should be doing homework. I wonder doubtfully, whether I will realistically, be able to go on in school. This is REALLY HARD, I'M NOT SUPER MOM!! I feel bad leaving all of my wifely duties (laundry, cleaning, cooking dinner, tending to the kids), after iI get home from work, to Daniel while I limit myself to 2 hours of work on the computer and 2 hours of homework, in the evenings, only to get ready for bed. I will have to really think and pray about these plans of mine. This masters degree journey will take alot of time away from my kids and my home life. We'll see?!?!

Another change of subject: Aiden is feeling better. Maybe a trip to the country (meme and papas) did him good, although he did manage to give me a terrible flesh eating virus (Cold Sore) on my nose. Only my 2nd in my life. Luckily I learned from my 1st last year that Abreva and Novitra really work!!!
Camilles knee injury is healed "its a miracle", and it was quickly attributed to a 7th hour science test, on Friday, that she squirmed out of. Unfortunately she didn't realize that she would also miss a movie and an overnight stay at a friends house due to her "inability to get onto the bus and walk home"! She must not really be my child, science was my favorite subject....NOT HERS, it is always a wonder when she pulls a C in that class!
Daniel is planning on fishing this weekend (surprise, surprise) , even though I have to work and I'm on call! Is this FAIR???? Who will watch the kids??? I guess if Camille is old enough to stay home by herself or with Aiden, for an hour during the week, then she can anytime? I'm not quite sure I want to start this wonderful strategy, as I relinquish all good excuses I have for keeping Daniel home while I'm out seeing sick and dead people, at all hours of the night and day during the week and weekend! Am I being Selfish?

Have I mentioned that I'm getting rather burnt out on this job! I am trying my hardest not to let my work slip because its not fair to the sick people, and I have some patients that I care for deeply, that I don't want to give up., but its hard to work a job that your tired of and dont really like! I saw an old professor of mine working at the college that I attended 10 years ago, and it made me nauseated to think of working the same old, consistent, monotonous job for 10,15 25,30 years until retirement!!!! Maybe there was some divine intervention (GOD)that lead me to chose this career. Thankfully, I am not tied down to 1 job or 1 field. I have the ability and approval to try a new job every year, if I wish. I love the people I work with and I love the flexibility of this job, but I find myself dreading every day....wanting a day,a week, a month, off! That cannot mean I'm working to my best ability. I told my boss today that I do not see myself doing this for another 1 or 2 years. To my great surprise she sympathized with me, understood. She didn't try to talk me out of my thoughts or feelings, or try to convince me to stay. That was nice. I guess it does take a special person to be a nurse....a RESTLESS, CHANGE NEEDING, person.

Its getting late, and I have to work tomorrow....Imagine that!
Until next time,
Laurie